Mt 23:28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Reputation is what people think you are. Character is what God knows you to be on the inside. You can’t always control what people think about you. Focus on your character and reputation will follow.
Esther 1:9 Queen Vashti also made a feast for the women in the royal palace which belongs to King Xerxes.
:10 On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, zethar, and Carcas, seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Xerxes,
:11 to bring Queen Vashti before the king, wearing her royal crown, in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials, for she was beautiful to behold.
:12 But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command brought by his eunuchs; therefore the king was furious, and his anger burned within him.
:13 Then the king said to the wise men who understood the times (for this was the king’s manner toward all who knew law and justice,
:14 those closest to him being Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media, who had access to the king’s presence, and who ranked highest in the kingdom):
:15 “What shall we do to Queen Vashti, according to law, because she did not obey the command of King Xerxes brought to her by the eunuchs?”
:16 And Memucan answered before the king and the princes: “Queen Vashti has not only wronged the king, but also all the princes, and all the people who are in all the provinces of King Xerxes.
:17 For the queen’s behavior will become known to all women, so that they will despise their husbands in their eyes, when they report ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in before him, but she did not come.’
:18 This very day the noble ladies of Persia and Media will say to all the king’s officials that they have heard of the behavior of the queen. Thus there will be excessive contempt and wrath.
:19 If it pleases the king, let a royal decree go out from him, and let it be recorded in the laws of the Persians and the Medes, so that it will not be altered, that Vashti shall come no more before King Xerxes; and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she.
:20 When the king’s decree which he will make is proclaimed throughout all his empire (for it is great), all wives will honor their husbands, both great and small.”
:21 And the reply pleased the king and the princes, and the king did according to the word of Memucan.
:22 Then he sent letters to all the king’s provinces, to each province in its own script, and to every people in their own language, that each man should be master in his own house, and speak in the language of his own people.
According to the verses, she wasn’t asked to do anything immoral. It doesn’t say why she refused.
In Esther’s time women were not considered to be equal to men. Whenever Christianity influences a country or culture, it brings respect and value to women and children.
Vashti is thought to be the same person called Amestris. The Greeks believed her to be the mother of King Xerxes son who later became king.
God calls for women to be submissive to their husbands. But if they are requested or demanded to do something immoral or illegal, God does not want them to obey.
God wants wives to honor and respect their husbands, but He also wants husbands to honor and love their wives as Christ loves the church. There should be mutual submission.
Eph 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Men have a need for significance, so a wife’s respect will make any husband know he’s valued and loved. Women need love and security, so God instructs a husband to value his wife through loving her. When both fulfill God’s plan, their needs are met.
Even though he may not have liked their advice, the king seemed to be swayed by it. He provides an example of how we shouldn’t be swayed by the messages of the world. They are often completely opposite to God’s messages.
We can be influenced by TV, movies, music, ungodly friends’ advice. We must seek out godly advice from His word and from godly people.