I am physically, emotionally, tired. Exhausted. Worn out.
The second hurricane, Ike, was alot less severe for us then Gustav was. For alot of people here in south Louisiana that wasn't the case though unfortunately. Most areas that were still waiting to have the area accessible for the utility crews to get in and restore their power and water, reflooded and alot of the areas flooded worse then with Gustav even though this time they didn't take a direct hit. We did have alot of tornadoes for Ike since we were on the "dirty" side of the storm. We personally were fortunate and other then the fence leaning a little more, we are safe. And for the most part came through this untouched. But the stress of not knowing where it will hit for a few days, and how badly it will hit your area, well until you have been through one it is hard to understand.
Add to that the fact that emotionally I am feeling wrung out right now. Well that is not a good combination let me tell you. And for anyone thinking, oh it is menopause, well for your information I am now officially through menopause and have been for awhile. So if you make me cry, sad, mad, angry, you fill in the blank with whatever you want other then happy, and joyful, well it is because you are treating me badly and being what I like to call a jerk. It can't be blamed on menopause. It can only be blamed on your bad manners, or attitude. And I am tired of it. What gives anyone the right to treat another person with disrespect and disregard. Do I do that to anyone? I honestly hope not. I am tired of only being good enough to talk to when you need or want something from me. I am tired of being ignored. I am tired of only being good enough to do something for me if you want something from me. I am tired of being the only one who cares.
So what is then the answer? Do I try to stop caring also? Sorry that isn't gonna happen. But I will stop "bothering " you. Cause that is how I feel sometimes. Like I am bothering people. So from now on, I will wait until you have time for me. Maybe I just have bad timing and when I approach people they don't have time. Well that won't be a problem anymore. Cause I won't make the approach. I will wait for you to decide you have time for me. But I am refusing to be used, or made to feel like I am being used any longer. So if I am again put in a position that I feel is being used, well I will learn to say no. Politely, kindly, but no. I am done. Obviously other then my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I am the only one looking out for me. And while He wants me to be kind, considerate and helpful, He doesn't want me to be a doormat. And as of now I am no longer one. And I refuse to feel guilty about telling people no. Cause that has been a big one for me. Saying no I mean. I will say yes just not to feel guilty about saying no. I have a right to say no. People say no to me all the time.
Sorry, I know this has not been my usual kinda post. But I needed a chance to vent.
And now back to our regular programming.