Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Eve

Wow tomorrow starts a new year. And a new decade. Amazing how time flies.

As I sit and ponder tonight I wonder what things the Lord has in store for me this next year. Will there be joy? I hope so. Will there be trials? I imagine there will.

One of those will be losing my mother-in-law from the way things are going. She is 94 and has been dealing with severe dementia for a few years. Last year she developed a cancerous growth under her tongue. It has grown pretty quickly and is now affecting her eating. She says it feels like something is caught in her throat and has pretty much stopped eating and just drinks now. Over 6 months ago the doctors gave her three months but since her heart is very strong she is hanging on to life. Thankfully she is not complaining of pain, though they keep her on pain meds just in case. For many years she and I didn't have a very good relationship, but the last couple of years she lived on her own, I saw her 2-3 times a week, checking on if she took her meds, if she needed something. The meds they put her on at the beginning signs of dementia changed her personality and she and I got to know each other in a way we were never able to before. We bonded. And I will miss her. I miss her now as the dementia has progressed enough that she is no longer that person again. It is hard to lose a loved one to death, and it is very hard to watch a loved one deal with dementia and cancer. Either one is hard enough but when they deal with both at the same time, well it adds another dimension.

Sorry I didn't mean this to turn in this direction it just did as I let my mind wander which is what I usually do when I blog.

Hopefully at the end of this next year I will have happy thoughts and can wander down memory lane about those.

Till next year, happy new year!

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