Who are you?

Is that a question your family or really close personal friends would ever think or ask?

What do I mean by that? Well, do you act one way when around certain people and another way around your family or close personal friends?

Do you treat others better then you treat your spouse or children?

Our first ministry according to the word of God is to our family.

God first, husband second, children third, everyone else after.

Does it say God first when it is convenient to spend time with Him? No, it is very specific God should be a moment by moment part of our life.

Does it say husband second when he deserves it? Nope, it just says we are to respect him.

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

It doesn't say that only when he loves her like himself. It just says respect him. Do we show respect to our husbands by acting like we are better (or more holy) then he is when he is struggling? No, we come along side, try and find out what is wrong and pray for him.

Our husbands need our appreciation. Do we show that by constantly being after them do do more when they return home from work? Yes, we have been home all day taking care of children, housework, meals, etc. And they should help out if there are little children at home. But can whatever you need them to do wait while he regroups for a little while? Or can it wait till he has a day off?

Now, I hear you ladies saying, but the problem is he won't do it then. Well, that is really between him and God isn't it? If you have voiced your need for him to do something and it never gets done, that is between him and God. Now you can interfere, but it will not make things better, trust me.

I have a mirror story. I had found a mirror at a garage sale for $5 and was very excited. I had been looking for one to hang behind my couch. Problem was the mirror was not in a frame and there wasn't a way to hang it. Now my husband is a woodworker and I knew when I bought it that it wouldn't take him 5 minutes to make a frame and hang. He had scrap wood around that he could use. But I also know my husband is a procrastinator. So for 4 1/2 years the mirror stood behind our entertainment center frameless even though I asked him the day I brought it home to make me a frame. The first month I left it out where he could see it but because I was concerned about it getting broken I moved it. Well the friend that was shopping with me when I found it, noticed each time she came that the mirror wasn't hung. Her hubby is the same way so she understood. I kept praying and praying that God would get hubby to hang that mirror but it just wasn't happening. Was it easy to overlook? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Every time I looked at the couch I remembered the mirror. One day I walked in and hubby was framing the mirror! I was shocked. But thanked God cause I knew that it was Him who finally got hubby to hang it. After the first day, I never spoke about the mirror to hubby again. When I moved it to safety he asked what I had done with it and I said I moved it so it wouldn't get broken. That was the last time I spoke of it. When I came in and saw him working on it he said he figured it was time he did it. I agreed lol. But when my friend would ask about the mirror my response was always, he will find time eventually to hang it. I never spoke about the fact that I felt as though he didn't care for me because he didn't hang the mirror. That would have been disrespectful to my husband. Even though at times that is how the devil made me feel. He would whisper in my ear "If he loved you he would hang that mirror". How does the fact that the mirror didn't get hung translate to he doesn't love me? He works hard all day to provide support for our family. He cooks some nights so I don't have to even without me asking. There are many ways he shows he loves me every day. Hanging a mirror isn't the gauge by which I should judge how he feels about me. Harping on the fact that it wasn't hung wasn't the right thing to do, although eventually he would have tired of hearing me and hung it. This way we didn't argue about it, and I still got it hung. I suppose God could have been teaching me patience? If so I hope I learned it though there are other things I have been waiting to get done as long or longer lol. But it doesn't change the fact that I love my husband and see him as a treasure from God. Stop looking at the things your husband fails to do for you and look for the things he does do for you.  That is what makes God happy.